I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
