For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
love makes seman taste better
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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