They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
