do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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