just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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