sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
