The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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