People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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