I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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