he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
