It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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