haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
