my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
