You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
