therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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