That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
