Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
