what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize