It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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