So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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