brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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