yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
