I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
