I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
