For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Even my vagina gasped.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
