I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
