I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You ruined the universe
Randomize
