There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize