Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
