fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
NoShamevember. You game?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
