I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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