Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
