I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
