i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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