I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Randomize
