I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
