Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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