You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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