i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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