Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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