dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
