with your own penis?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
