...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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