Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
