The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
