Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
