Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
