mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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