He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
