I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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