My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I lost the right to judge tonight
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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