He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
