I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
