I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
