I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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