i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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