you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
