i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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