I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
