so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
