i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
